“It was just a fox like a hundred thousand others. But I made my friend of it, and now it is unique in the world.” (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)
I read this sentence a long time ago and it particularly stuck with me because in fact friendship, true friendship, is a precious gift that should be cherished and cultivated.
If you happened to be a groomsman for a close friend, or if you happened to organize and implement games at a relative’s wedding you may have realized how the months leading up to the big day are almost more stressful for you than for the bride and groom. This happens because friends, in good faith in most cases, want to prevent the wedding from being a boring day, want to show the bride and groom their closeness, want to make them excited and entertained at the same time. Sometimes, however, they are too exacting and end up achieving the opposite result by straining even the most solid friendship.
Over many years we have witnessed beautiful, well-organized, engaging games and pranks but at the same time embarrassing, distasteful, dangerous situations that have led in the most extreme cases to ruining a long-standing friendship.
The unfortunate thing is that in the face of all this, the bride and groom often arrive unprepared, expecting or rather hoping that friends would organize something for their wedding but trust is sometimes disregarded, in extreme cases trampled on, leaving the bride and groom at the mercy of awkward, boring, or tasteless situations that end up pleasing only those who organized them.
Sometimes then, even with the best of intentions, prepared games or pranks are carried out at the most inopportune times, hindering the service in the hall, the kitchen, the musicians and all those who had worked for the success of the party and to stay on schedule with the bride and groom; This is because the friends do not know the timing of your wedding, are not coordinated and do not interface with anyone often.
Just imagine if even at your wedding, after months spent organizing everything down to the smallest detail, friends ruined your most beautiful day fordi more by embarrassing you in front of your relatives or co-workers.
That would be a real shame, wouldn’t it?
To remedy this there is only one possible solution which is to apply preventive strategies such as to ensure that any pranks, games or movies are arranged at the most appropriate times, without going overboard and preserving the planning of the day you have always dreamed of.
Wedding jokes: how to handle friends?
1. Plan everything
Sometimes out of inexperience (brides and grooms who have participated as guests in a few weddings), sometimes out of superficiality, many couples plan the day in broad strokes, letting themselves be guided, often, by the timelines dictated by the restaurant or caterer.
The more fussy ones tend to draw up a detailed schedule for the day but even then forget to plan where and when to give friends a chance to organize pranks and games.
On the surface, this oversight may seem trivial, but it can make the difference between a well-executed wedding with entertained bride and groom and satisfied friends and a wedding with angry, stressed-out, disappointed bride and groom and dissatisfied, stymied friends for investing so much time and failing to do as planned.
As long as it may seem, the wedding day runs fast and there are timelines to be met and services that need your presence so for example you can instruct the maître or hall manager to tell your friends to focus the jokes at that particular time having had the foresight to perhaps provide a longer sorbet break to allow friends to let off steam. Beware, however, that some trivial games can become dangerous or create damage to the location if offered in the wrong area; For example, games with soap, bubbles or foam if offered inside the villa can make the floor very slippery with the risk of ruinous falls, while if done outside, perhaps on a lawn, they can leave burn marks on the grass if liquid is accidentally spilled. Therefore, planning even the area of the location that best suits what friends have prepared is by no means a triviality or nitpicking, it can prove essential. Also inform the photographer of the timeline you have agreed with the caterer because without you jokes and games cannot be played.
2. Assign a trusted person
Every married couple knows their friends/relatives and consequently knows what to expect. If you are afraid that the situation could escalate or simply want to be sure that games and pranks do not become a double-edged sword assign a trusted manager. It will be to him and with him that you will have to plan where to place the different entertainment moments throughout the day; It will be his responsibility then to worry about coordinating the friends without ever losing your pulse throughout the event.
3. Engage an outsider
If you do not feel comfortable entrusting all this responsibility to someone you know, give the task to an outside person such as the maître d’hôtel or the musician/entertainer; They will be the ones to plan interventions at certain times while respecting the timetables of the kitchen, the service and you all the professionals involved.
They will be your most trusted ally, actually pretending to be one with your friends as well!
This person knowing in detail the timing of the day will know how to help friends put into action at the most opportune time all the good things they have prepared for you, without getting in anyone’s way and respecting the timing of the day.
4. Listen to those with experience
If you have hired a professional musician (as we recommend you do) also discuss the issue of games and pranks by friends with him; he will surely know how to help you and advise you on how best to plan these interventions because of his experience in the field. Those who have been doing this beautiful work for several years, have had the opportunity to see hundreds of weddings, more or less detailed planning, know the locations with their critical issues, but most of all they know the timing and how to optimize it according to the type of games and tricks that friends have prepared for you. Make sure he can get in touch with friends who are working on preparing the entertainment for your wedding.
This will give you the ability to monitor from the outside the actions of your friends and through the directions given to the musician manage them in the best possible way saving you from being at the mercy of games and pranks, heavy, boring, tasteless or poorly organized. In addition, if the musician knows in advance what the friends need and when, he or she will be able to organize himself or herself by planning interventions and installations to best meet the needs of friends and relatives.
5. Fast / Organized / Engaging
These are the only 3 rules that make any prank, game or gift that friends have prepared for you a nice, fun and exciting memory.
Fast? What the bride and groom most fear at their wedding is that people may get bored so if a game is proposed that lasts half an hour, or a video that lasts 40 minutes the participation and attention will gradually wane until it turns into mindlessness and boredom. Let your friends know: only FAST games.
Organized? This feature is closely related to the above, if friends have planned a quick game but arrive totally unprepared the timelines are lengthened and we fall back into the problem seen earlier. The dwarf game for example, is very witty and fun, both for the bride and groom and for those who attend, but if friends start without having prepared all the necessary equipment (water tray, towel, yogurt spoon etc.) a fun and quick game can quickly turn into a monotonous and boring moment. Let your friends know: only ORGANIZED games.
Involving? We like to call them “public domain,” meaning that any proposed game or prank must aim to involve everyone present, and if it also succeeds in getting them to actively participate, the friends have hit the jackpot. There are many games that look good on paper, but unfortunately entertain only a small group of people who are usually the same people who worked on making it to the exclusion of almost all other guests. The result is a foregone conclusion–not being able to participate the rest of the people get bored; A typical case is the crossword puzzle spouses a crossword puzzle designed and structured on answers that only close friends and spouses know. Let your friends know: only COINVOLGING games.
6. Hiring an entertainer or entertainment service
As is often the case in many things, the obvious choice is the last one to be considered. Why not hire a professional to become the “extra friend” and help you organize everything in detail? He will also take care to hear from friends beforehand, sounding out the ground to find out how many and what jokes they weighed of organizing and then relating with them on the wedding day to optimize their interventions, with the kitchen, the photographer, and whoever is in charge of the music, so that these funny interludes turn into a precious memory and do not go to ruin a long-standing friendship.
Or if you have set your sights on a more elegant and polished entertainment service, you can still make sure that it interfaces with your friends; You never know that the comparison might bring new ideas or new insights to make it more fun and/or exciting.
That said.
Now with this knowledge you are clear about the importance of monitoring the goliardic aspect of your wedding to prevent a fun moment from turning into a bad memory or you can visit our website www.weddingsymphony.it and go to the contact page to book a specialized consultation with our Paul and understand how he can help you contain and manage friends and relatives to leave your guests with a pleasant, indeed, indelible memory of your wedding.
Remember that
“Marriage is a live movie. You can’t go wrong because you can’t buy a memory.”
We always say this to all our wedding couples.
A few simple tips combined with a dash of common sense in choosing the professional to whom you entrust the musical aspect of your wedding not just based on price will make your day a memorable event.
I am Paolo Furlan the first Wedding Music Planner in Veneto and founder of the Wedding Symphony music agency specializing in music for civil or religious ceremonies and music and entertainment for wedding receptions.
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